Wish You Were Here!

a holiday-comedy © 1999

by Julie Harris Award winner

Joseph Hullett

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Synopsis

Christmas, early in the 'oughts.' Long in the doldrums, Troy New York welcomes the promise of a new millennium with the opening of the Bulloni Fertilizer Plant -- Business for the 21st century! Enter again Baby Boomer Abel Joiner -- the last disposable 'human resource' in the downsized, automated Bulloni factory -- a man of hands with a magnificent basement garden, winter blooming roses, a pregnant wife, a zany teenage daughter, and a conniving brother Mortie.

Threatened by a future where blue-collar is expendable, Abel yearns for the security of a management promotion. But the Bulloni industrial psychiatrist, Dr. Upton Downer, believes that 'winter rose' dreamers could spoil Bulloni's fractured plans for the 21st Century. Christmas Day ends with yet another pink slip.

Despairing of a place in the changing world, Abel risks all on a daybreak idea -- a loony, happiness sharing scheme that threatens Bulloni's plan to take over Troy public services.

Ordered to discredit Abel, Downer corrals him in a hospital on New Year's Eve where -- at a wacky hearing -- the world answers Abel's wake-up call with a message for the new millennium.

Characters

ABEL JOINER: A man of hands losing his grip.
UNCLE MORTIE: Abel’s conniving younger brother -- an amped-out sports fan who fights for his piece of any pie.
DOTTIE: A good wife – the tail on Abel’s kite.
UPTON DOWNER, MD An industrial psychiatrist who knows that dreamers can't be managed.
CYNDEE: A flighty sixteen year old girl who savors wild flowers but is lost without her hive.
THE BOSS:A A lean and hungry middle manager in charge of the Bulloni plant.
*THE DIRECTOR:B An bitter, almost-was who makes infomercials to survive.
*THE SALES MANAGER:B A pinkie-ringed, modern day Minotaur – half man, all bull!
*CISCO:A A young computer wonk.
A & B  roles may be doubled

STAGING SUMMARY:

Staging is envisioned as two split-sets and a final conference room set. Two "outdoor" apron scenes and the intermission facilitate changes.

ACT I:

ACT II:

1.JOINER HOUSE (family room, kitchen, basement garden, outside) split stage with BULLONI PLANT. 1. DOWNER’S OFFICE split stage with INFO-MERICAL STUDIO SET
2. APRONMONUMENT PLAZA 2. APRONMONUMENT PLAZA
3. JOINER HOUSE split stage with TELEMARKETING CUBICLE. 3. PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL CONFERENCE ROOM.

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